Stop being so reactive at work

[Sasquatch]

When I was a young bobby I saw an Inspector shouting at one particularly long serving PC in the car park. The PC was a nice feller, a bit of a handy amateur cruiserweight in his day. I was just getting in my car when I glanced up in time to see the PC chin the Inspector.

The Inspector, not a very nice chap or manager, was pointing at me and screaming, "you saw that! You saw that!"

I smiled innocently, puzzled look on my face, and responded, "saw what?"

That was one manager who got the reaction he'd been pushing for, and there was nob all he could do about it.

I don't condone that sort of thing, but people, even managers, cant really complain when they reap what they sow.

And that's the nub of the problem. Too many people just let these arseholes get away with it.

 

[DaveD]

Thats an interesting idea but then I would be thinking what will they ask if I do, and what will I tell them.

If you ask for a reference you are under NO OBLIGATION to discuss it further with your current employer.
Do not enter into conversation about it, you don't have to explain yourself, your plans or anything else.

 

[Macp]

A lot of the comments that these managers are making in your workplace appear very narcissistic. Somebody explained to me recently that this type of person isn’t ever going to care whether your response beats their criticism as they’ve already won as soon as you respond to their baiting. You’ll only win by not responding or giving them the reaction they are pushing for. I have tested this out a few times now and was amazed at how the buttons stop getting pushed when they’re not getting what they’re hoping for.

I just smile one of those smiles with a twinkle in my eye that shows that you’re happy with what you’ve achieved and there’s nothing more to be said. Strangely, the smile itself even cheers me up, despite me instigating it in a fake manner.

You can use that in any situation to change your mood. Just don’t let anyone catch you practicing it sitting there on your own.

I get so damned annoyed at myself as I keep telling myself, just do what they ask and dont question. But often its so ridiculous. Like taking a sledge hammer to crush a nut that I end up questioning rather than just doing which is what I want to do.

 

[Macp]

When I was a young bobby I saw an Inspector shouting at one particularly long serving PC in the car park. The PC was a nice feller, a bit of a handy amateur cruiserweight in his day. I was just getting in my car when I glanced up in time to see the PC chin the Inspector.

The Inspector, not a very nice chap or manager, was pointing at me and screaming, "you saw that! You saw that!"

I smiled innocently, puzzled look on my face, and responded, "saw what?"

That was one manager who got the reaction he'd been pushing for, and there was nob all he could do about it.

I don't condone that sort of thing, but people, even managers, cant really complain when they reap what they sow.

And that's the nub of the problem. Too many people just let these arseholes get away with it.

There have been times when I would have loved to chin one of them, but decided that was probably not in my contract. As I said the sales manager is decent bloke who I used to get on with really well. But he is such a blunt tool. Whereas the MD is a total gas lighter.

 

[Anakin]

I’ve just retired from teaching Chemistry and being Head of Department at a huge secondary school. Education is a mix of old-fashioned processes, under-paid, power-hungry leaders, odd people, challenging customers/pupils and yet rewarding moments.

What kept me sane were:
- find what keeps you happy and only engage fully with that; the rest of the day, just do it with economy of effort and no questions.
- talk to narcissists with “yes” and “no”, nothing else, they’ll soon find you unrewarding and hassle someone else.
- support colleagues fully, whenever you can, as they may be struggling too. It’s rewarding in itself.

At risk of being too high-minded, and paraphrasing badly, Marcus Aurelius was spot on with this: recognise that you have control over yourself, but f*** all else. In other words, control your emotions not the uncontrollable world.

 

[DXX]

find what keeps you happy and only engage fully with that; the rest of the day, just do it with economy of effort and no questions.

That maybe one of the root causes of low UK productivity. I think contractually we all get paid to fulfil our job descriptions.

 

[Anakin]

That maybe one of the root causes of low UK productivity. I think contractually we all get paid to fulfil our job descriptions.

Well I already had you down as a judgemental keyboard warrior, but thanks for the confirmation.

In no way did I say to not do your job. Economy of effort is what it says. Job done fully, but no unnecessary stuff. And it was in response to someone struggling at work, not your conflation into macroeconomics.

 

[Macp]

I’ve just retired from teaching Chemistry and being Head of Department at a huge secondary school. Education is a mix of old-fashioned processes, under-paid, power-hungry leaders, odd people, challenging customers/pupils and yet rewarding moments.

What kept me sane were:
- find what keeps you happy and only engage fully with that; the rest of the day, just do it with economy of effort and no questions.
- talk to narcissists with “yes” and “no”, nothing else, they’ll soon find you unrewarding and hassle someone else.
- support colleagues fully, whenever you can, as they may be struggling too. It’s rewarding in itself.

At risk of being too high-minded, and paraphrasing badly, Marcus Aurelius was spot on with this: recognise that you have control over yourself, but f*** all else. In other words, control your emotions not the uncontrollable world.

Excellent reply thankyou. There is one area I generally find more rewarding so that fits. And I always try to help out my other colleagues where I am able to do so.

Controlling my emotions is key. I cant change them or their practices. I just need to stop the way I react, and try to understand it.

 

[Macp]

That maybe one of the root causes of low UK productivity. I think contractually we all get paid to fulfil our job descriptions.

From my point of view, I turn up and do my job. I am rarely off sick or late. I do however arrive and leave bang on my contracted hours. But I do my best to avoid putting my hand up, or going the extra mile. Caring about the job in my opinion is highly subjective.

 

[Bav]

That maybe one of the root causes of low UK productivity. I think contractually we all get paid to fulfil our job descriptions.

More likely is the squeeze on investment, training and R&D budgets, and the constant insistence by management for everyone to "work harder" as pay/salaries consistently lag behind cost of living and morale drags along floor.

 

[Macp]

More likely is the squeeze on investment, training and R&D budgets, and the constant insistence by management for everyone to "work harder" as pay/salaries consistently lag behind cost of living and morale drags along floor.

We just about scraped a rise last year. But it only came into affect after 6mths. So arguably no rise at all. And I cant see how we will get a rise this year. During a recent meeting the MD came out and said I know we always said work smarter not harder, well now we must work harder and smarter.

Sorry I could go on and on !

 

[Bav]

Sorry I could go on and on !

I understand.

I was fortunate enough to be in a position where I could stick 2 fingers up at them and retire. That was 5½ years ago and it still riles me, but I try not to look back in anger.

 

[Sasquatch]

I was tempted to take s**t on the Superintendent's desk on my last day, but he'd locked his office door so I was thwarted.

Fortunately a while later he was in the sheet for something and I was only too happy to twist the knife and divulge what I knew...to the Daily Mail.

 

[Paynewright]

Dont rule out lack of sunshine - I’m always a bit happier with a bit of sun on me! Vitamin D supplements worth looking into if you suffer from SAD

 

[Rioja John]

My last 9 years I worked for an housing association as a gas fitter on real good money and it was a joy working there, I was a workaholic and if my days work was finished early I would ring the office and ask if there were any emergency’s that needed attending, there were a couple of fly boys in the team who could do the talk but were bone idle especially the union rep.
Anyway the association paid a lot of money for a firm to come and inspect the company and tell the management what ways they could improve the company, the report came back that the 300 odd manual workers were excellent and that the company was over managed, what did the company do set more management on making up jobs deputy this and assistant that split the workers up with more line managers and it went really down bank. It also emerged that the chairwoman of said association had falsified all her CV and didn’t have any qualifications whatsoever, she suddenly disappeared with the excuse her parents were sick and needed looking after.
Then they bought pdas in whaching where you were checking work sheets and accusing me of holding work sheets back so that I could boost my next days work, I proved them wrong but enough was enough I gave them 3 months notice so that they could get a replacement but they put them many obstacles in front of me to stop me retiring but I stuck to my guns and a week before my retirement date they asked if I’d made my mind up with what I was doing I said I’m retiring next week as I told you with my three months notice, my manger said so you want me to notify wages department do you.
I lost a lot of money retiring 18 months early and living off savings until official retirement date but 13 years on it’s the best thing I did and wished I’d done it earlier.

 

[Rioja John]

Another thing If I need to feel better I just get on one of my motorbikes and go for a long ride with a couple of mates.

 

[Bav]

Another thing If I need to feel better I just get on one of my motorbikes and go for a long ride with a couple of mates.

Riding a motorbike should be available on NHS prescription - It's amazing how it can improve your mood.

 

[Rioja John]

@Bav what Motorbikes’s do you ride, I have a 2002 Triumph Thunderbird 900 in immaculate condition and a 2022 Kawasaki 650 Versys.

 

[Drive Wayne]

Riding a motorbike should be available on NHS prescription - It's amazing how it can improve your mood.

Unless your riding into Birmingum... Going home's not so bad, until the fools with the explosive exhausts drive past you

 

[Rioja John]

Don’t let them pass you Wayne.