Stop being so reactive at work

I've worked in the corporate swirl, similar to you, Group v Business... its painful... Just remember its the organisational culture not you! I found understanding myself and others helped me, especially when dealing with those as you described... a good start might be understanding your strengths, it was a fab confidence boost for me... take a look at Gallup, its was free in the past for the short version? CliftonStrengths

If you can get you HR team to do Myers Briggs in teams/departments that work well in the past for me
I wil take a look at that 👍

But funnily enough I was chatting with my wife earlier and when I started listing my roles/experience with my current employer, which is anything from HSE to electric motor repair and driving various fork lift trucks, its really quite extensive.
 
I wonder if it's a 58 year itch! I've always been in the business of selling happy things to generally happy people. I had my own business for 20 years which was gently squeezed out of business by changing retail trends and a lack of customer loyalty.
I sold my stock and myself to my current employer who is now past retirement age and is trying desperately to pass the business on to his ex accountant son who really isn't good with people or things in general at all, Dad knows that and is continuing to make our lives a working hell.
I too would welcome redundancy, but that would cost them too much, so they seem to be content to make their workforces life miserable in the hope they will leave.
On the other hand, my older brother took early retirement at 61 and his health has gone seriously downhill since retiring, currently waiting to get healthier after a stomach operation before commencing palliative chemo in due course. I haven't got time to be ill what with working and all, and at the end of a working day I get on my bike and wave goodbye with no worries of Vat or payroll to prepare for the taxman.
As far as I can I let the sh1t go over my head and use the DIRM approach, 'Does it really matter'?
Anyone for a 58 year olds consultancy club?!
Count me in for the club Wayne, and thanks for posting.
 
@Macp I was in a similar situation a while ago when I worked with a company that was acquired by an international group. The acquisition was made purely for the group to secure a stake in the digital communications sector. Neither the acquiring company nor any of their individual company executives had any experience of the sector and, rather than consult with our experienced team (several of whom were well-regarded published industry specialists), relied on poorly-informed £1500 a day advisors from an accountancy firm.

Sadly, the incompetents masquerading as corporate executives had an unwavering belief that just thinking of a number somehow made it achievable and anybody could bludgeon a customer into giving you their business. Selling a service at unrealistic cost in a highly competitive marketplace was somehow simple to them. This pre-occupation with wild fantasies and dreams of world domination caused huge conflicts within our company creating a climate of perpetual stress for employees across our business.

To cut a long story short, concerned that it was negatively affecting my and my colleagues physical and mental health, we made hints about constructive dismissal and the fact that older employees had been deliberately excluded from CPD training to the corporate HR team. This was picked up and within a couple of months I and some of my colleagues were offered redundancy packages. I then worked as a consultant until I finally retired, choosing when, where and for whom I worked. Whilst financially it was a bit up and down, the relief of not having the stress hanging over you all the time was sublime.

Trust me, if you continue as you are there’s a very real chance that your health, and maybe your relationship, will suffer. It’s simply not worth the risk.
Thanks for the reply, redundancy would be the dream. Fortunately we were bought by a huge Japanese group so family and respect is important to them. I could really make a stink given their fear of the group. But again im concerned about my fear of confrontation.
 
I used to get stressed over work, and then I realised, in a bit of a “Road to Damascus” kinda way, that this week’s emergency will be next weeks “what was all the fuss about?”
There’s always something more important to deal with than the last “most important” thing.
A couple of the most powerful tools when dealing with, err “Tools” is the phrase, “Of course I can deal with that, what would you like me to drop?” This puts the ball back into their court and they have to make a decision. Similarly, “no problem, just drop it on an email for me please” this makes them think, as they are giving a written instruction that can come back to bite them.
And then there’s the skill that all people pleasers lack, the ability to say “No”
 
I used to get stressed over work, and then I realised, in a bit of a “Road to Damascus” kinda way, that this week’s emergency will be next weeks “what was all the fuss about?”
There’s always something more important to deal with than the last “most important” thing.
A couple of the most powerful tools when dealing with, err “Tools” is the phrase, “Of course I can deal with that, what would you like me to drop?” This puts the ball back into their court and they have to make a decision. Similarly, “no problem, just drop it on an email for me please” this makes them think, as they are giving a written instruction that can come back to bite them.
And then there’s the skill that all people pleasers lack, the ability to say “No”
So much fact here. Clasically management always like to 'talk' rather than email. And as to saying NO the first response is always YES, now whats the question.
 
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Happy new year.
What you need to do is take what you have to your advantage ( Your health, your experience and what’s left of your enthusiasm), and apply it elsewhere.
You are always worth more to somebody else. At your age you are both digital and analogue and will be able to use this in a field that will be happy to employ you.
There are many companies that will snatch up mature employees that are willing and enthusiastic. BUT… you have to know what you want to do and above all else you HAVE to want to do it.
There are many online companies that you can use to promote your skills very cheaply by just doing a refresher course to bolster your CV, companies such as High Speed Training are brilliant.
I know it all comes down to the dollars but your health is your wealth and if you’re not happy then move on.
Never underestimate yourself.
I speak through experience. Good luck and believe in yourself.
 
Fair play for putting your head up above the parapet, it’s usually good to talk. Wether it’s an option with your employer is best judged by yourself, but consider it.

Conscious it’s from the comfort of my armchair, but try not to take things personally, you have worth, you have experience and they do not have the monopoly on sound ideas. Get some thoughts on paper regarding responding, they are far likelier to come to mind when put under pressure.

Best wishes for a positive resolution…
 
Any company worth investing in as a share holder drives its employees into the ground, that’s what share holders want. Investment groups are no longer looking at the long term, its quarterly results and the companies are looking at monthly results.
As a result there is ‘natural wastage’, fair enough in my opinion as not everybody is cut out for a particular role even if they are qualified and there are several billion people out there who maybe able to do it better.
The issue I see is the accountant who knows exactly how much it’s going to cost to downsize and the manager who’s willing the create a living hell in order to save the redundancy money.
I used to get paid really well but I was paid to sell my soul, unlimited working hours and squeezing the crew under me until there was nothing left (BVI contract). Eventually once you have enough $ and hate the job enough you can say f+ck it.
Only once you’ve left can you actually see how toxic chasing the $ is. The UK population in general is too focused on the new this and the new that, we’d be better taking a leaf out of our southern Europeans neighbours book.
If it’s a case of retiring a year earlier and not having the new kitchen, van, 3x holidays it’s a no brainer in my opinion.
 
@Macp I feel for you pal. I've been there myself on a couple of occasions and its tough. It started a bad bought of depression both times which I didn't realise at the time. The thought of getting up on Monday morning resulted in me staying awake all night on Sunday. Anxiety was a real problem. I hated work, the people I worked with, the drive, everything. The hardest thing I found was looking and applying for another job as I thought I owed the company something and I wasn't good enough to get another job. I now try and think positive and have a better outlook and my current manager appreciates what I do, I think. You need to make the first move to change your life as your company dont appear willing to. Check out Indeed or LinkedIn. There's always jobs on there. Good luck.
 
With my last employer it got to the stage of me having chest pains driving into work and at that point I was signed off with anxiety. The only time in 30 years I’d needed a doctors note. It was the new team of transient managers the company had brought in that caused the unrest.
 
Thank you for the honest post, from an employers perspective, I always try and ensure our staff are happy & content, albeit we are in energy/construction, not sales, I guess all bosses/line managers differ, if our staff aren’t happy then I notice it immediately and ask them where we can do better, none of us are perfect, I really do hope you find contentment in this job or the next and I sincerely wish you all the best
 
Generally OK now at the new job, with the odd set back, but with the support from SWMBO that I can throw my Hi Viz in and ram my door pass where the sun dont shine whenever I like.

It does make managing the difficult times easier with a get out plan!
 
Thank you for the honest post, from an employers perspective, I always try and ensure our staff are happy & content, albeit we are in energy/construction, not sales, I guess all bosses/line managers differ, if our staff aren’t happy then I notice it immediately and ask them where we can do better, none of us are perfect, I really do hope you find contentment in this job or the next and I sincerely wish you all the best

You are the exception in the workplace
 
Thank you for the honest post, from an employers perspective, I always try and ensure our staff are happy & content, albeit we are in energy/construction, not sales, I guess all bosses/line managers differ, if our staff aren’t happy then I notice it immediately and ask them where we can do better, none of us are perfect, I really do hope you find contentment in this job or the next and I sincerely wish you all the best
Got any jobs going for some highly experienced 58 year old sales pros?!!
 
A lot of my thoughts have already been set out above in a better way than I can.

This past year has seen me asking many questions of myself and slowly making g changes in my work/life balance. Buying the van and getting out in it with family and the dog has been huge in rebalancing those books.

In a better place as a result but, before Christmas, a kind colleague told me that my problem was that I cared about the job too much. They qualified this by saying that I should care about the actual work I am paid to do, as not caring will be costly for those using our services, but that I should absolutely not care so much for the crap that sits alongside that in the form of office politics.

My personality is to always try and fix injustices, big or small, but there is very little gain in this futile approach when everyone else has already realised that they shouldn’t care about that crap.

This was has finally landed with me and I feel like a new person heading into my first day back tomorrow…

Famous last words, but am hoping I can start fresh with this newfound wisdom. Fingers crossed eh.
 
@ChestnutBrown I see your points, and they are very fair. For me I do my job, but I dont go the extra mile, and I dont put my hand up if a volunteer is required. I arrive on time in the morning. And I leave on time. Even though the sales manager seems to have a habit of asking if you have 5 minutes just before you knock off. It never is 5 minutes, so he is politely told it must wait until tomorrow.

I know you arent suggesting anything in your post. Im just saying that I am at least doing what I am paid for, but no more.

Wishing you the best 👏
 
I arrive on time in the morning. And I leave on time. Even though the sales manager seems to have a habit of asking if you have 5 minutes just before you knock off. It never is 5 minutes, so he is politely told it must wait until tomorrow.
I think you are part - way there.

You have established some boundaries, maybe it is something to build on?
 
When you said that you can't quit right now as that "will be financial suicide" will that change within the next few years if you carry on exactly as you are?
I'm thinking here of myself when I was stuck in the fast food outlet and the reality that it took over two years to sell the business as a going concern.
The shop did sell but represented barely a year's normal take home however the relief of stopping doing something that you couldn't stand anymore was palpable.
Realistically given my wife could see I was unhappy so our strategy as such was to bank what we could while earning and downsize to split the money over three smaller and cheaper properties.
This sounds a bit la de dah but was selling a 4 bed detached in Dorset and relocating back to Northampton where we had started and despite the glib explanation was less than straightforward and took probably about 4 years start to finish... actually, probably 11 years to date as we've just sold the second of the rental houses and down to our 3 bed semi.
I did go back to being a sparky back here in Northampton and despite being in my mid 50s could hack it however at that age you're working alongside people who look at a baldy old git and automatically assume they're carrying you, you in turn look at them with their pseudo busy lifestyle and see somebody scraping by but trying to look flash.
It's a generational thing I guess but either way I jacked in twice over 5 years of sparkying and hung up my spurs for good to now sit at home doom scrolling in my rocking chair. :geek: :whistle:
 
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