The Jokes Thread...

I feel I need to explain......
I wouldn't normally eat macd , but lots of long & late trips this year with daughter meant a stop has become a regular thing at 100 miles before home .
I can eat the burger & manage the chips on the drive, but worn sauce every time .
Must be age ...... Genuinely just ordered one
 
A young lady walks into the pro shop at her golf club looking a tad distraught.
The pro, noticing the young maidens distressed state, asks if everything is ok.
“No” she replied, “when I was out on the course, I got stung by a wasp”
“I’m sorry to hear that” says the pro, “Where were you stung”
“Between the 1st and 2nd hole” she replies.
“I would say that your stance may be slightly too wide if that’s the case”
 
Soldier walks into the NAAFI bar and orders 6 pints of Guinness.
He starts drinking them really fast.
The NAAFI barman asks “why you drinking them so fast”?
The soldier said “ you’d drink them fast if you had what I’ve got”
Barman asks sensitively “why what you got”?
The soldier said “ £1.50 mate”!
 
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